Psychotic mate match?

A Demon and his Psycho Book Cover A Demon and his Psycho
Welcome to Hell #2
Eve Langlais
paranormal, humour, satire, romantic comedy
CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
Kindle

With a giggle and an outrageous mouth - perfect for things other than talking - Katie comes flying into Xaphan's life, upsetting centuries of self-inflicted misery. How can he stay true to the one he lost when a bubbly psycho, with mismatched eyes, keeps consuming his thoughts - and awakening his desire? So she was a tad bit nuts, Katie's insanity came in handy as the Devil's favorite problem solver. But killing's not on the menu when a dragon goes missing, and worse, Lucifer teams her up with Hell's grumpiest demon. Xaphan's rejection of her advances only makes her more determined to seduce him. And despite her violent reputation, a part of her is oddly tempted to let him live. Warning:This story centers around a grumpy demon holding on to an ancient vow and a perky psycho (with killer tendencies) who is determined to make him snap. There's cursing, melt-your-screen hotness, messed up religious tropes and snort out loud fun. If you already know you're going to Hell, then dive on in.

 

 

 

Fun!

They do love kill – both of them – and even have competitions to see can kill the most.

‘Natch these are demons who need killing but.

And any of the Damned who get involved and killed will just go back into the pit and be reborn as a new soul wiped clean of all sins, so not that bad maybe?

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A ‘Dead’ Baby who Can make you Green?

Fashionably Dead in Diapers Book Cover Fashionably Dead in Diapers
Book 4
Robyn Peterman
Paranormal > Demons & Devils Romance > Paranormal > Vampires Romantic Comedy
Robyn Peterman

And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard…That’s nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren’t any books on raising True Immortals so let me give you a few tips… ~Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion and a map will help if you only have seven minutes and thirty-one seconds. You’re welcome. ~Parenting books are useless if you're not human. If your child is half Vampyre/ half Demon I would suggest not using parenting books at all--they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this. ~Have sex. ~When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Often times your child isn't imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy it's probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it's wise not to take chances. ~Have sex again. ~When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child's hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you're truly paranoid a parent could consider putting a chip in their child. If you do this don't discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird. ~At least cuddle. ~Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to reverse...like being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist. ~Find a closet and go to town.

Well Robyn certainly has some imagination when it comes to babies. Her variant beats any naughty child anyone human ever had.

Some of her descriptions of what happens rings true though – like the sleep deprivation. This doesn’t go away for at least 5 years as even when they are at playgroup and can talk in whole sentences as they begin to have an imagination which gives them nightmares. Don’t watch Bear Grylls or Plant Earth 2 with a 3 year-old. They have really vivid dreams after those programmes. And wake you up to tell you about them. Several times in the night.

And have you ever lost a child in a shopping centre? Well we have. Toddlers can toddle away really fast when you turn your back for one minute or less…. And there is just so much to interest them that it is very hard to find them again.

But this baby is more than all of this because he turns out to be a True Immortal who grows very fast indeed and has some really awesome powers, including being able to turn people’s skins green – or pink – or… So awesome powers in the hands of a very young child? And you have lots of fun(?) for the reader any way, escapades. Your own baby/toddler escapades exaggerated with a kooky sense of humour.

Loved it.

 

 

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Mel and Hell again

Mel Goes to Hell Book Cover Mel Goes to Hell
Mel Goes to Hell
Demelza Carlton
fantasy, paranormal romance
CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
Oct 2014

The ultimate forbidden love - when Lucifer falls for an angel. Luce and Mel unearth an age-old conspiracy behind his fall from Heaven which could doom their love for eternity. Yet in the deepest levels of Hell lies a secret that could hold their salvation. Eternal damnation awaits any angel who descends into the Pit of Despair, but Mel will move Heaven and Earth to save Lucifer's soul. Armed with little more than the fury of a righteous angel, Mel will raise Hell in the name of love. From the heights of Heaven to the depths of Hell, can love truly conquer all? A tiny taste of what's in store:"Heaven won't help you if you stand in my way. From HELL Corporation to the Pit itself. Now, more than ever, it's time for me to go to Hell." With barely a gold shimmer in the air, she was gone. "What do we do now?" Peter asked Michael. "Pray," Michael replied. "I'd prefer to let a hundred demons into Heaven, with my blessing, than agree to let Mel go to Hell." "Why did you let her go, then?" Peter persisted. Michael's laughter was hollow. "Nothing can stop her from fulfilling her destiny. Not you, not me, not Raphael. Not even all the forces of Heaven combined." "What about the forces of Hell?" Michael closed his eyes in defeat. "We're about to find out, aren't we?"

Mel goes to Hell

Interesting take on the different levels of Hell (see Dante and his 9 levels) and the behaviours that result when the illusions are removed.

But not as amusing, in my opinion, as the previous books in the series.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

To HELL and back

The next book in the series. Again a nice read but the first 2 books in the series were more amusing.

 

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Hell is a fashionable place – wear Prada!

So here we are down in Hell and our heroine begins to meet all her relatives.

And quite a collection she has. Starting with Gigi her grandmother – who is somewhat psychotic, to her sisters the 7 deadly sins and lots of other beings who she might have thought were mythical – until she meets them that is.
And then her father has a new consort - one who claims to be carrying a boy - his first! And this would be really something special after 8 girls.

And then she collects some babies from her ceiling. Well they are baby demons – demons take a long time to grow up it seems – and they have a wicked sense of humour and fun along the way. These are so small she can put them in her pocket, but they have an appetite like nothing that Astrid has ever seen before!

Astrid begins to come into her powers for real and sparkly black is not want you want to see her turn into – that is when her power is at its most strong and fearsome. Yes, she has dark magic – but she tries to do good – in a rather bad way – with it.

Once again Robyn Peterman astonishes us with her ability to create a world that you begin to invest in and that seems almost real, along with its crazy characters. You laugh out loud at some scenes and giggle at others and amaze yourself with the words that are created and said by the characters.

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You must dress fashionably – even when dead!

A book series based in Hell. But not a Hell as you and I might have thought it – at least mostly not, and then devils or demons are not quite what you thought either.

This series really had me hooked right from the beginning, although it did get better as it went on a most series do.

One of the best things about the series is that everything is not quite as you thought and usually turned on its head, so much so that you end up liking the Devil and find his brother – ie God in this scenario – rather straight laced and even boring. And as for their mother! Yes, they have a mother and she visits them occasionally and when she does chaos rules. And if there is a mother, then there must be a father, and so there is, and yes, he is still alive and is half Sprite. Sprites are loveable creatures and you just want to hug the they are so cute.. and so he gets hugged a lot by his grand-daughters.

Yes, the Devil has children – all girls as it happens.

The first seven girls are the Seven Deadly Sins – well that makes some sense - and they do what their names say they do. And they are mostly very jealous of each other and thus some rather nasty ‘accidents’ happen but with no bad outcome except for some punishment by Daddy.

The 8th girl is different and is this 8th girl that the books are centered around.

Astrid.

Astrid didn’t know when the story begins just who was her father – or her real mother for that matter. But she did know that she liked fashionable clothes. And this is where the titles come from, because everyone in Hell likes fashionable clothes – preferably Prada or similar and likes to look very well turned out at all times – including the Devil. Hence the phrase:

‘Knife in thigh? Fine. Lying asshole Prince? Whatever. Torn Prada? Unforgiveable.’

Astrid has a best friend named Gemma, who proves to be rather important as the books continue.

For me, the books are giggle aloud worthy and I just loved all the funny language that Robyn Peterman makes up and uses. Her curse phrases are really good and the things she can add to the word ‘ass’ are brilliant.

So some examples of her words are:

Redonkulous

Asscranks

Asshat

Asscanker

Asswhack

Asswaffle

Assjacking

Jackassmonkeydouche

Doodoopoopcaacaa

motherhumpinc**pcanoes

Bobbityflonk.




She creatively combines words into a phrase you never would have thought of and thus creates some really fun sentences.

So Astrid finds out she is not who she thought she was and finds out that she has a great deal of magic and also finds herself a really hot husband who is actually dead and life is never the same again.

I am giving all the books 5 stars but will tell you about each of them separately as I really want people to read the series in order as I don’t want to give out too many spoilers!

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