Books
0 Comments

Dog Wars: Book Blitz

TextInShowBlitzBanner - Dog Wars: Book Blitz

It’s a dog text dog world…⁣

Will Autumn run back to Wisconsin with her tail between her legs? Will Jack find out that appearances can be deceiving? Will Helen’s dog Fifi win Best in Show? Find out in the hysterical fourth edition of the Accidentally in Love Series, Text in Show by @whitneydineenauthor and @mj_summers_author

EXCERPT

The bell over the door chimes and a young woman walks in with a freshly groomed silver standard poodle, full-on with painted nails and a diamond collar that probably isn’t fake. I look from the dog to her owner, relieved that I don’t know either of them. My gut reaction is to despise her. Anyone who paints their dog’s nails is on my not happening list, even if she is really pretty—which she is. She’s totally got that trophy wife air about her, except there’s no giant rock on her finger, so she must be a wannabe trophy wife. Her dark blonde hair is up in a ponytail. She’s dressed in yoga pants and a fitted long-sleeved T-shirt for that cute girl-next-door look. She probably paid an extra hundred for that tiny hole near the bottom of her shirt, you know, to make it look like she’s not trying.

Aldo points to the door and yells, “NO DOGS!”

The chances that a woman like her will take no for an answer are about as good as me painting my own nails. In other words, it’s not happening.

She gives him a pathetic look, complete with puppy dog eyes. “I’m just here to pick up my order and I’m worried about leaving her outside.”

There it is. She’s clearly not used to hearing no and she’s about to put up a big fuss. I bet she’ll threaten to skewer them on Yelp before she leaves.

“No dogs. OUT!” Aldo shouts.

“Can you bring me the pizza then? It’s under the name Autumn.”

Autumn. That figures. These Upper East Side women always have chichi froufrou names.

The man in line turns to glare at her. “Would you mind waiting your turn?”

“Sorry, yeah,” she says, looking more flustered than I’m used to seeing in this neighborhood full of privilege.

Also, she just apologized and is now leaving without yelling, threatening, or telling him he just made the biggest mistake of his life. She must be very new at being filthy rich, but she’ll learn.

Autumn turns around to open the door, only to get caught up in the leash. I watch as she loses her balance, then flails her arms which, unfortunately for her, is the universal sign for “let’s wrestle” in the dog world. The poodle leaps up, wags her tail, and bounces as though agreeing to the terms of play. The owner’s weak words of “Celine, no!” mean nothing. In fact, the volume and panicked tone only excite the poodle more. Before I can get up to help her, the woman tips sideways and lands in a huge potted plant with the dog pinning her to the dirt and licking her face. “Celine Dion Josephine Bonaparte, get down girl,” she says, uselessly.

“That’s it, now you’ve upset my plant.” Aldo hollers. “Go!”

“I’m trying!” she calls back.

Oh, for … I get up and firmly take Celine Dion Josephine Bonaparte (what kind of name is that?) by the collar, lift her off Autumn, and firmly tell the canine, “Stay.”

Then I pluck the leash out of the woman’s hands and unravel her legs from it. Wow, she smells amazing. Or is that the poodle? Dear God, I hope it’s not the poodle because if so, I’ve got some very expensive years of therapy ahead of me.

INSTA TextinShow 1024x1017 - Dog Wars: Book Blitz

AUTHOR BIO:

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries — not always in that order.

Whitey - Dog Wars: Book Blitz

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to. 

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017
Author Links:

https://whitneydineen.com/

https://twitter.com/whitneydineen

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8145525.Whitney_Dineen

https://www.instagram.com/whitneydineenauthor/

https://www.facebook.com/Whitney-Dineen-Author-11687019412/


Melanie Summers also writes steamy romance as MJ Summers.

Melanie - Dog Wars: Book Blitz

Melanie made a name for herself with her debut novel, Break in Two, a contemporary romance that cracked the Top 10 Paid on Amazon in both the UK and Canada, and the top 50 Paid in the USA. Her highly acclaimed Full Hearts Series was picked up by both Piatkus Entice (a division of Hachette UK) and HarperCollins Canada. Her first three books have been translated into Czech and Slovak by EuroMedia. Since 2013, she has written and published three novellas, and eight novels (of which seven have been published). She has sold over a quarter of a million books around the globe.

In her previous life (i.e. before having children), Melanie got her Bachelor of Science from the University of Alberta, then went on to work in the soul-sucking customer service industry for a large cellular network provider that shall remain nameless (unless you write her personally – then she’ll dish). On her days off, she took courses and studied to become a Chartered Mediator. That designation landed her a job at the R.C.M.P. as the Alternative Dispute Resolution Coordinator for ‘K’ Division. Having had enough of mediating arguments between gun-toting police officers, she decided it was much safer to have children so she could continue her study of conflict in a weapon-free environment (and one which doesn’t require makeup and/or nylons).

Melanie resides in Edmonton with her husband, three young children, and their adorable but neurotic one-eyed dog. When she’s not writing novels, Melanie loves reading (obviously), snuggling up on the couch with her family for movie night (which would not be complete without lots of popcorn and milkshakes), and long walks in the woods near her house. She also spends a lot more time thinking about doing yoga than actually doing yoga, which is why most of her photos are taken ‘from above’. She also loves shutting down restaurants with her girlfriends. Well, not literally shutting them down, like calling the health inspector or something–more like just staying until they turn the lights off.

She is represented by Suzanne Brandreth of The Cooke Agency International. 
Author links: https://mjsummersbooks.wordpress.com/

https://twitter.com/mjsummersbookshttps:

//www.instagram.com/mj_summers_author/

https://www.facebook.com/MJSummersAuthorPage

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/17105602.Melanie_Summers

Share This:

Books
0 Comments

Science is their friend? Book Blitz

image 13 - Science is their friend? Book Blitz

Opposites Attract by @jacquelineleeauthor is out NOW! Get your copy today:

football - Science is their friend? Book Blitz

Extract

Living with Josh is as great as I expected. We move from roommates to friends seamlessly over the next fortnight, and inside me there’s a little spark of hope that the next progression might happen just as naturally.

Unfortunately Josh shows no sign of being interested in me romantically. And trust me, I’ve been searching for signs more actively than UFO enthusiasts search the night sky. Because there is no way I’m going to put myself out there and risk all the potential awkwardness unless I’m absolutely certain my feelings are reciprocated.

One Saturday night we’re heading out the door together when Brandon arrives. I swear Brandon spends more time at our apartment than he does at his own. Josh seems to enjoy his company, so I’ve bitten back my complaints.

“We were just going to grab some frozen yogurt. You want to come?” Josh asks him.

Brandon flinches. “Probably not a good idea.”

I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding. It’s not just that I want to spend time alone with Josh. Somehow, when Brandon’s around there’s always this weird tension buzzing between him and me, and not just when we’re trading insults. It’s like antimatter—one of those phenomena science can’t find an explanation for.

Josh ducks back into his room and emerges holding a red baseball cap and dark sunglasses. “Here.” He thrusts them at Brandon, who puts them on.

I raise an eyebrow. “Is there a reason why you’re dressing Brandon up like that even though it’s mid-January, forty degrees, and dark outside?”

“We’ve got to cover up Brandon’s beauty or the girls start mobbing him,” Josh says.

I roll my eyes. I have to concede, Brandon is male-model gorgeous. However it’s egotistical of him to assume that females can’t control themselves around him.

“Yeah, I understand. I struggle with the urge to mob Brandon daily.” My words are deep-fried in sarcasm.

“And yet you find the strength to resist,” Brandon says.

“It’s my superpower,” I reply.

We head into the elevator, also known as taking your life into your own hands. I swear the metallic groaning and creaking gets worse every time.

Brandon stands next to the door, and as I lean past to press the button I catch a hint of his cologne. He smells like a fresh mix of lemon and cedarwood, two of my favorite scents. I have to restrain myself from shuffling closer to him. After just mocking the idea of mobbing him, planting my nose on his skin might be slightly hypocritical.

We make it to Frozen Palace and I volunteer to queue up while Brandon finds a booth near the back and Josh heads to the bathroom.

I’m studying Frozen Palace’s poster that’s inviting me to suggest my own new flavor of yogurt, when a guy sidles up behind me.

“Excuse me, is that Brandon Seaton you just came in with?”

I turn to look at the guy. He’s the pure definition of a jock, in letterman jacket and jeans. His two friends standing beside him are dressed identically.

“Um…yeah.” My shoulders have hunched up automatically. I force myself to unclench.

“Oh, my God, I thought so.”

“Do you know him from somewhere?” I ask.

He gives me a weird look. “Yeah, I know him from football.”

“Oh, do you guys play on the same team?”

The guy’s look morphs into astonishment, and he starts to chuckle. “Yeah, sure we play on the same team. I’m the starting receiver, didn’t you know?”

He and his friends crack up laughing. Heat tracks up my cheeks. Jocks. I frigging hate them. Especially when I’m the butt of a joke I don’t understand.

And I really don’t understand what’s going on now, because as I collect our orders and weave my way back to the table it’s like I’ve stumbled into one of the sixth dimension’s alternative universes. I can hear Brandon’s name echoing around, like the walls are whispering it. I put the tray on the table with a thump.

Brandon looks at my face and frowns. He’s taken off his sunglasses but his cap remains in place. “What’s up?”

I don’t want to admit I’m hallucinating his name. I’m about to tell him I ran into his friend, when suddenly the friend turns up at our table.

“Sorry to disturb, but can I grab an autograph?” He thrusts a pen and napkin at Brandon.

My forehead wrinkles in confusion as Brandon puts on a smile. I know Brandon well enough to know it’s a fake smile. But he obediently picks up the pen and signs the napkin.

“Your friend wanted to know if we play on the same team,” the guy chortles.

Brandon glances at me. I give him a flat glare back.

“Yeah, she’s not really into football,” he says.

Sidling back in my seat while he talks to the idiot guy, I shield my phone from scrutiny while I google Brandon. What I read makes me swallow hard. Twice.

Right, so apparently there are some negatives about determinedly remaining ignorant about everything in the football universe.

Like not knowing your roommate’s brother is the FREAKING STARTING QUARTERBACK FOR THE NEW YORK GOLIATHS.

image 15 1024x1024 - Science is their friend? Book Blitz

AUTHOR BIO:

Never miss a new book or exclusive FREE short stories! Sign up to Jacqueline’s newsletter at: https://jacquelineleeauthor.com/newsletter-sign-up/

Jacqueline Lee is an award-winning romance author who writes stories with heart and humor. She loves writing characters who have fun with each other while building a deeper connection. Formerly a high school biology teacher, Jackie is living her own version of happily-ever-after with her husband and three children in New Zealand.

image 14 - Science is their friend? Book Blitz


Author links:

https://www.facebook.com/JacquelineLeeAuthor

https://www.instagram.com/jacquelineleeauthor/

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/21412191.Jacqueline_Lee

Share This:

Books
0 Comments

Try on for size? Book Blitz

HowtoNotFakeMarryABillionaireBlitzBanner - Try on for size? Book Blitz

How Not to Fake Marry a Billionaire by @ashlee_mallory is book 2 in the How Not to Marry a Billionaire series and it’s out NOW! Get your copy today ➞ https://amzn.to/3vUV9nc⁣

#hownottomarryabillionaire #sweetromance #bookstagram #romancebooks #romcombookstagram #romcombooks #romancereads #Bibliophile #Bookshelf #BookClub #Bookish #Booksy #BookNerd #BookWorm #XpressoTours @XpressoTours #BookBlogger #BookQueen #BookLove

Excerpt

“Excuse me, but I’m looking for Holly Mazinski,” said someone with a distinctively British accent.

I whirled around and stared at the guy standing in the door, looking all tall and dignified and sexy—yes, definitely sexy. I blinked my eyes as if to clear them from this possible apparition. Could Colin Fitzgerald actually be standing in the doorway of my office here in Tucson? Jane’s Colin, who she’d dated as part of her operation to marry a billionaire that ended with his proposal—that’s right, for marriage—and her ultimate rejection? Twice?

As I pondered this, Colin’s gaze swept the room. When he saw me, his mouth curved into a smile that made my stomach feel like a dozen circus monkeys were flipping somersaults inside.

Yeah, so I kind of liked him. A lot.

“Holly. There you are.”

I sat frozen in my seat as he walked into the room. Our prior two meetings in Hawaii—once when he came to pick Jane up for a date and the other when I had a sort of weird double date with him, Jane, and Jane’s bartender—had both left me tongue-tied in his presence.

“Colin. Hi,” I croaked out.

It was safe to say that today was not going to be any different.

He stood in front of me, close enough that I could see the warmth in those lovely light blue eyes made lighter by the sky-blue sweater he wore. He’d had a haircut since I last saw him, shorter on the sides but a bit messy on top and swept over in a casual but sexy style. His jawline had a hint of stubble that hadn’t erased the slight indent in his chin or the perfection of those lips that any Italian artist worth his salt would beg to chisel onto a sculpture of a god.

I looked away to get my bearings, settling on the breadth of his shoulders—which might have been a mistake.

“Are you going to introduce us to your guest, Holly?” Katrina asked, poking me in the side.

Right. Introductions. “Colin, this is Katrina.”

“How do you do?” Colin said in his delectable accent and nodded in greeting.

“And that’s Remy and Julia,” I continued while each of them waved in greeting. I stopped when I reached George and Camella. George had a funny look on his face as he stepped forward and held his hand out to Colin. “George McConnell. And this is my fiancée, Camella Franklin.”

Colin turned to me and I saw a wave of understanding cross his face as he met my gaze. He’d been there in Hawaii after I heard the news of their engagement and knew how devastated I’d been.

With barely more than a nod to George, Colin trained his attention on me. “I’m terribly sorry to bother you while you’re at work, but I thought that our discussion might better be handled in person.” He checked his very expensive-looking watch. “It’s almost lunchtime. Would you care to grab something to eat?”

I blinked a few more times before Katrina jabbed me again. “Lunch? Yes, I could probably get away for a few minutes.”

“Excellent.”

I was still confused about why he would have come all the way here to seek me out. I knew that he’d arrived at Jane’s office in Legal Aid last week and renewed his marriage proposal and been shot down. I had assumed that he would have returned to England by now or wherever he usually did whatever work a billionaire did. Unlike Jane, I didn’t know much about this particular handsome billionaire and hadn’t seen any reason to, other than…

A new possibility hit me. Could he be here to discuss the email? I’d sent it last week and hadn’t heard a word since.

Well, I could sit here for another five minutes ruminating on the reason or just get my butt out of the chair and follow him.

image 5 1024x1024 - Try on for size? Book Blitz

Author Bio

Ashlee Mallory is a USA Today Bestselling author of contemporary romance, romantic suspense, and thrillers. She currently resides in Utah with her husband and two kids. She aspires to one day include running, hiking and traveling to exotic destinations in her list of things she enjoys, but currently settles for enjoying a good book and a glass of wine from the comfort of her couch.

Keep up with all upcoming releases by following me here, or joining my Newsletter at http://bit.ly/1lPwwE3 for updates and giveaways!


Author links:

image 6 - Try on for size? Book Blitz

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7912393.Ashlee_Mallory

https://www.ashleemallory.com/

https://www.facebook.com/AshleeMalloryAuthor/

https://www.instagram.com/ashlee_mallory/

Share This:

Books
1 Comment

Ohh a Kidnap?

CatnappedTourBanner - Ohh a Kidnap?

Answers from the Author!

Thank you so much for hosting me!

Can you tell your readers something about why you chose this particular topic to write about? What appealed to you about it? Why do you think it is different and your approach is unique?

Like many of the Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) novels, I usually take a theme or a trope that I’m interested in writing, and I run with it. I really enjoy writing about shenanigans involving cats, so I rolled with it. And a catnapping featuring a crazy-cat lady?

There is just so much fun to be had there.

How long do you think about a topic before deciding to write about it? Do you have a set of notes or a note book where you write down topics that appeal before making a decision as to which topic this time?

It really depends. Some books, I will spend 2-3 weeks just planning and outlining. The more complex the concept, the longer it takes to prepare. Catnapped took all of five minutes, as it is a ‘go and have fun’ sort of book. Now, there is complexity in this one, but I would stop and work out the kinks as I wrote the book and went back and fix anything I broke… rather than go in fully prepared.

It really depends on the book. I do whatever is needed to get the book finished.

How long does it take to research a topic before you write? And for this book?

It really depends on the book. Catnapped needed very little research because I had already done the research for it on other books. I did have to brush up on some mythology and lore from a few religions, but it only took a few minutes with Google because I knew what I was looking for.

What resources do you use? In general and for the last book that you wrote?

Once again, it really depends on the book. If Wikipedia has what I need, I cross-check references and use that. If I need something more thorough, I contact someone who knows what they’re doing in their field, or I hit up the library for resources.

If you need specialist knowledge to write a book, how do you obtain it? For instance, do you interview people? Go to the location? Use Google Earth? Apps?

All of the above, really! Everything I research often needs a different approach. I’ve done interviews in the past, but I find interviews to be less useful for urban fantasy/paranormal than visiting locations and doing book studying. But I do what’s needed to get the book written.

Research can be a major time-waste if you don’t set up a plan and research with the goal of getting specific data. My suggestion for anyone who needs to research is to learn to pull to plug on researching, else all you do is research rather than write.

Does writing provide sufficient income to live on? And how long did it take before this happened?

Yes, I earn enough from my writing to live on. It took five years from my first self-published book to when I started making a living wage. I became fairly aggressive about advertising three years in, which made a huge difference.

What do you read when you are ill in bed?

I’ve had a lot of that lately, unfortunately! We just moved, and my allergies/asthma have been really bad, so there has been a lot of staying in bed while whining. Honestly… I re-read my own books because I wasn’t up for reading anything new. I was too sick!

What is your favourite genre?

Urban Fantasy / Paranormal Romance. I just love stepping out of the real world for a while. Bonus points if the books contain humour and non-abusive male leads.

Do you have any pets? If so, what are they?

I have two cats! One is a tortie, and one is a calico. They are both terror goblins.

And what are they called?

Zazzle the Beguiling Tyrant is the calico, and Princess the Understudy is the tortie.

image 4 1024x768 - Ohh a Kidnap?

Do they help you write?

Absolutely. They are paid in treats. They refuse to work for free.

What is the funniest thing they have done while you are writing?

Once… I was preparing a book for publication. It was in the final formatting stages. Princess got onto my keyboard and helpfully insert some characters, which made it into the live version. Fortunately, readers were really kind about it, because rando stray characters is not the norm in my books. It definitely caught their attention, though.

Do you want to add a photo of them to this Q&A? [please add a separate file, not embedded into document]

Please see the attached picture(s)!

Who is your favourite pirate and why?

I’m going with Edward Teach/Blackbeard. The guy was a freaking genius of a lunatic. Everything about his exploits were phenomenal. He definitely wasn’t a good guy. Most pirates simply weren’t, but there was a lot to learn about Teach’s exploits and the golden age of piracy.

Drake was also a really interesting privateer/pirate, but Teach’s exploits sparked a special sort of magic, especially for us.

Do you enjoy sailing? On a lake or the sea? And what about tall masted ships- are they better than engines or?

I absolutely adore sailing. Both lake and sea. In school, we got to sail the Lady Baltimore, which was just a fantastic experience. Ever since, Ships of the Line have captivated me. (For those who aren’t into naval history, a Ship of the Line is a sailed battle ship used during the golden age of sail for naval combat. They would battle in lines. A First-rate Ship of the Line is the first ships to engaged, and are considered to be the best of the best.)

My husband and I watch a lot of naval history documentaries.

Has the pandemic inspired you with any new stories to write? If so, what is the story premise?

The pandemic has been so hard. But yes, it absolutely has inspired books… and it has forced me to step back on some books because of too many people embracing hate. (The Jesse Alexander series and the Seeking the Zodiacs series are both on hold due to the pandemic; I’m hoping I can return to writing them in 2022, but we shall see.)

When I was picking my birthday book for this year (Which is Catnapped), the pandemic was just starting to roll through, so I decided I wanted something that was more fun than anything else. We all need fun right now.

The hardest part of the pandemic, for me, is the awareness that a lot of people are reading to escape right now, and I want to make sure my readers have a wonderful time getting lost in a book.

We all need to get a little lost right now.

Do you prefer doctors or nurses as your hero/heroine? Why?

Nurses. Without nurses, doctors can’t operate, they can’t keep patients alive… really, medical care is a joint effort. Nurses are often neglected because they don’t have the label of ‘doctor’, but it’s not the doctors who are there every hour making sure the patients get through the tough spots. It’s the nurses. They’re the ones inserting the IV lines, monitoring the equipment, and making it so the doctors can do their jobs.

Doctors are important, but nobody is getting out of an operation alive without the hard work of the nurses.

What about ‘snark’? is it good or bad?

I love it, as long as it isn’t malicious. Snark that’s malicious is just another jerk, and we have enough jerks… snark needs to be moderated. There’s a time and a place for malicious snark in fiction, though. So, it really depends on the skill of the author writing the snark.

Is it easy to write humour?

Nope. Just nope. It’s a lot of fine lines to dance through, over, and on. And every joke has the potential of doing more harm than good. With time and practice, it’s ‘easy’ to write, in that it’s a learned and practice skill.

That said, I love writing humour. It’s a good challenge.

How many of the accidents – funny or otherwise, or bad experiences in your stories are based on your own experiences? Or those of your friends?

Honestly, very few. Sometimes, I lift something particularly amusing. A character in a book I wrote under a pen name had salmonella poisoning that went into her bloodstream from a raw chicken nuggets from a fast-food establishment.

No research necessary. I’d lived that one. It’s definitely not an experience I’d like to repeat!

To Purchase:

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/catnapped-9

iBooks: https://books.apple.com/ca/book/catnapped/id1513416935

About the Author

RJ Blain suffers from a Moleskine journal obsession, a pen fixation, and a terrible tendency to pun without warning.

In her spare time, she daydreams about being a spy. Her contingency plan involves tying her best of enemies to spinning wheels and quoting James Bond villains until satisfied.

RJ - Ohh a Kidnap?

Author links:

https://www.thesneakykittycritic.com/

https://www.facebook.com/rjblain.author/

https://www.instagram.com/rj.blain/

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7190903.R_J_Blain

Share This:

Books
0 Comments

Oh please! Blitz

image - Oh please! Blitz
image 1 1024x1024 - Oh please! Blitz

Excerpt 1

“You looked so sexy in those wellies,” he murmurs, referring to my rubber boots. “Do you think I could get a private viewing of you in those and…let’s say nothing else?”

“Nothing else? Sebastian Huntington-Ross, I am deeply outraged.”

“Are you now?” he asks with a laugh that rumbles through me.

“I didn’t know you’ve got a thing for gardeners.”

“Actually,” he says with another kiss that has my head spinning, “I’ve got a thing for my hot Texan wife.”

“I’m guessing you’ll want me to team a ten-gallon hat with those wellies, huh?”

“Now we’re talking.”

As he reaches under my top and slides his hands up my bare back, sending a jolt of anticipation through me, I hear the creak of the door and look up in surprise to see not only Sebastian’s mom, but his granny with disapproving look on her lined face.

Not that this is anything new. The day that woman gives me a look that’s not disapproving I think I might faint from shock.

I instantly dismount Sebastian and readjust my top in an attempt not to appear as though we were about to engage in, well, marital activity. We might be a newly married couple who do what newly married couples do, but getting caught out by my mother-in-law and judgmental grandmother-in-law still puts a halt to proceedings pretty quick. As you would expect.

“Mother, Granny,” Sebastian says in a surprisingly steady voice as he rises to his feet. I’ve had to get used to that here. Sebastian always stands whenever his mom or grandmother enter a room. It’s super formal and weird to me. Where I’m from, you only got up to go fetch another Coke.

“Don’t let us interrupt, you two,” Jemima trills in an unnaturally high voice. She must be feeling about as comfortable as I am right now. “Come, Geraldine. Let’s, err…go for a stroll in the garden.”

Geraldine scoffs. “Jemima, it’s after nine at night and it’s raining cats and dogs out there. Have you gone completely mad?” She clunks her way across the room with the aid of her cane and sits down carefully on one of the seats facing us. “It’s fortuitous that we found you in such a position.”

I blink at her in disbelief. It is?

Jemima is still hovering by the door, clearly uncomfortable. “What about the library, Geraldine? There’s a book collection I thought you might be interested in. I only came across it a few weeks ago, and I think you’ll find it quite fascinating. It’s about the history of bridges in the British Isles, which is a thoroughly enthralling topic—”

“Oh, Jemima,” she scolds. “I haven’t got the least interest in bridges. Take a seat, will you?”

“But—”

“Now.”

Defeated, Jemima replies, “All right.” She slinks into another one of the armchairs and shoots us an apologetic smile.

“We thought you were both out for the evening,” Sebastian begins.

“We’re back,” Geraldine replies, pointing out the obvious.

“How are you this evening, ma’am?” I say to Geraldine as she steadily lowers herself into a seat by the fire with the aid of her cane. It has a brass handle in the shape of a wolf, which appropriately casts her as a Bond villain. All that’s missing is the hairless cat.

“I’ve told you before, Emma. In England ‘ma’am’ is what we call the Queen. Please remember to call me ‘Granny’ now that you’re family. You’re no longer on your Texas ranch here.”

I open my mouth to reply and shut it again. Having grown up in a modest house in inner-city Houston, the only time I’ve been on a Texas ranch was when I was filming Dating Mr. Darcy. “I forgot…Granny. Habit, I guess. You can take the girl out of Texas, as they say.”

Geraldine purses her lips in obvious distaste. “Quite. Now. I have something I must say to you both.”

Must she?

“It’s gratifying to see you’re still engaging in what is characteristically considered the honeymoon phase of a marriage.”

Sebastian’s eyes find mine briefly before he replies, “Thank you?” Because what do you say to that? Yes, we’re at it whenever we get the chance. Can’t get enough of it, actually. We’re at it like the proverbial rabbits. Our room, the living room, the garden, even your room when you’re out at the opera (okay, we’ve never actually done it in Geraldine’s room, and nor do we plan to, but you get the picture).

She steeples her fingers, fixing us with her glare. “An heir. That’s what we need.”

“An heir?” I swallow. She’s already made it abundantly clear that as Lady Martinston, it’s my duty to provide the family with the next generation. The first time she mentioned it, in fact, we’d literally been married less than three minutes. You’ve got to admire the old girl’s tenacity, I guess.

“Yes,” she snaps, “an heir. How often are you engaging in marital relations?”

“Mummy, I hardly think—” Jemima protests as Sebastian’s eyes widen at me.

“Let them answer, Jemima,” she quips. “It’s been a year and still not even a sign. You’re not getting any younger, you know, Emma. I’m certain your fertility has already begun to wane. When I was your age, I’d finished having my children.”

I offer her a weak smile. That was because it was the 1800s and there was no TV.

“Granny, we haven’t even had that conversation yet,” Sebastian says. “Give us a chance, please.”

“What’s the delay? You’re clearly raring to go if that little display earlier is anything to go by. Make it mean something, my dear boy.”

I suck in air, every part of me cringing. The mood has gone from sexy rubber boot fun to creating an “heir” in two minutes flat.

Could this get any more awkward?

“Thank you for your concern, Granny, but when Emma and I decide we’re ready to start a family, we will be sure not to tell you until we actually have something to tell you.”

“Does that mean you’re already trying?” Jemima asks, a healthy dollop of hope in her voice. “Because we can leave right now and let you get on with it if you like.”

Oh, no. Awkward!

Jemima rises to her feet. “Can’t we, Geraldine?”

“I suppose,” Geraldine grumps.

I squeeze my eyes shut, fantasizing that I’m not in the living room with my mother- and grandmother-in-law, my clothes and hair disheveled next to my husband as they discuss our sex life.

“Good-bye, you two,” Sebastian says with a tone of finality in his voice.

Jemima bustles over to the door, clearly keen to get far away from this whole thing as quickly as possible, while Geraldine rises from her seat onto her creaky bones as though she’s an arthritic sloth in no hurry to get anywhere.

It takes forever, stretching the awkwardness out to a breaking point.

Eventually, she reaches the door and turns back to us. “Missionary position. That’s the best for procreation. That’s all your grandfather and I ever did, and we had all the children we wanted.”

Why did she have to put that image into my head. Why?

“Good-bye, Granny,” Sebastian says firmly, and thankfully, she leaves the room, closing the door after her.

Alone once more in the cavernous room, we catch one another’s eyes and instantly dissolve into peals of embarrassed laughter. Catching his breath, Sebastian says, “I’m so sorry about that, Brady. The word awkward doesn’t even begin to describe that exchange.”

“Missionary position?”

Sebastian’s shoulders shake as he laughs. “Granny can be very direct when she wants to be.”

I think of the way in which she announced that I wasn’t good enough for her grandson and that I would be doing everyone a big favor if I just simply disappeared. “Ah, yes. That’s very true.”

He laces his fingers in mine and claims my lips with a kiss. “Brady, I have an idea. How about we grab those wellies of yours and head up to our bedroom away from any prying eyes.”

“And lock the door?” I ask.

His eyes sparkle as his face pulls into his sexy grin. “Lock it, bolt it, and hide the key.”

AUTHOR BIO:

Visit kateokeeffe.com and sign up to her newsletter so you never miss out on new releases and great book deals again! Follow her on Bookbub to learn about deals on her books. Just cut and paste this link into your browser: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/kate-o-keeffe

image 2 - Oh please! Blitz

Kate O’Keeffe is a bestselling author of fun, feel-good romantic comedies. She lives and loves in beautiful Hawke’s Bay, New Zealand with her family, two scruffy dogs, and a cat who thinks he’s a scruffy dog too. He’s not: he’s a cat. When she’s not penning her latest story, Kate can be found hiking up hills (slowly), traveling to different countries, and eating chocolate. A lot of it.

Visit kateokeeffe.com to sign up to her newsletter to keep up to date on new releases, great deals on books, and more.

Author links:

http://kateokeeffe.com/

https://www.instagram.com/kateokeeffeauthor/

https://www.facebook.com/kateokeeffeauthor

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8195990.Kate_O_Keeffe

image 3 - Oh please! Blitz

Share This:

Social Media Auto Publish Powered By : XYZScripts.com